Passing Thoughts

This morning I received an email informing me that a former friend passed away on Monday after a very long battle with cancer.  It hit me harder than I thought it would (I knew he was fighting a losing battle) considering we hadn’t spoken since early 2007.  What has me thinking the most is that we fell out over my divorce – he chose sides with my ex.  I will never know why, now.  The last thing I said to him was, “my contact info is still the same, if you grow a set, use it.”  Why is it stuff like that comes back verbatim, but other stuff is hazy and glossed over.  We had a number of good times on a few years worth of photo trips, especially down to Reelfoot Lake and Madison IN.  Memories I still love, and are bittersweet because of the falling out due to the divorce.

This Tuesday is his memorial, which I am literally split down the middle on going or not.  If I go, I will see people I have not seen in a long time, and I will probably see my ex and her daughter for the first time since we split in 2007.  I don’t want to see them.  We have nothing to say to each other, or rather, I have nothing to say to them.  Going to the memorial wont bring me any answers as to why he chose to throw away our friendship.  Hindsight is 20/20 and looking back, yes I could have reached out to him, but I didn’t.  I don’t blame myself any more than I blame him, as we were both grown adults who both made the wrong decision.

Eric, safe travels on this next journey.